Regarding the past.Follow

Leave your flames at home. If you have nothing of worth to say, shut your face.

That being said.

Perhaps it is the fact that the smartest (or sometimes stupidest, we'll see with time) ideas come to me when I'm lying in bed on the edge of unconsciousness. This would be one of those ideas.

I know my name was placed on the server map with the beginning of the whole Cetranne debacle. In short for those of you who don't know, she basically stole money to be split up from BCNM fights. Moral: don't pickup for BCNMs. So I was personally stolen from as part of this, as were ten (?) others. This caused quite an uproar, and even though I haven't seen her around for some time, the utterance of the word "Cetranne" still, to this day, makes blood pressures rise.

My posts started semi-humorous. But when I found out how ridiculously quickly people came to know me on our server, it went straight to my head. I began acting like I was the one and only force to bring her flaws to the light of the world. I brought unnecessary information and indirectly related people into it. I was revealing "relationships" she was/had been having with others on the server. I drew the thread on and on and on, because I thought I was entertaining people.

Just before the thread was locked by Amanada's report, the last line of my post, which was the final one before the lock:

"I have a remedy. A bullet, served at high speed, in the head."

Childishness.

Maybe the mob mentality is something that overcomes me easily. Maybe it's the anonymity of putting my words into a forum, instead of someone's face. The way that you can be a big man when there's no one around to make you sorry when you've stepped over the line. A great number of people do this in the online world, and I apparently don't happen to be an exception.

Another instance of this came up when the Allakhazam.com merger with IGE's parent company. I still stand by my belief that Allakhazam is no less guilty for signing on with IGE's self-created parent company instead of directly allying with IGE itself... however, my last few posts on Alla, which included some in this server forum, were, for a large part, overreaction.

Note both of these instances were when the public of the posters at Allakhazam.com, be it over the whole network or simply our server, were focused against one person. I would assume it's the whole "oh look, everyone's pissed, I'll be pissed too!" frame of mind.

What's the point of this, you ask?

I'm apologizing for my behavior, excepting the two entities that were directly recieving of my criticisms. I know what I've written before gave a number of people headaches, and possibly undue stress. And for that, I am sorry.

I've come to realize that spending time, energy, and thought trying to prove to me and other people that I'm better than them was completely idiotic. Because in the big picture, the question that comes to mind is, who cares? Who cares if I spend a week in a thread throwing about insults and trying to come out on top? Who cares if -do- come out on top? I've pushed others down to get there, and beyond that, my status in an online forum is largely superficial, and does not really accomplish anything of value for me and my life.

In closing, I've thought about this, and I can admit when I've been wrong, and been a total jackass. I may have thought I was the king of the world, but I've been gone, and guess what. The world is still turning. My past conduct was inappropriate and idiotic, for which I do apologize to those who I caused grief.

To those of you who have read all the way through to here, I thank you for your time.

Speedly

Nice post! ^^






Cetranne is still mean though... Saw her the other day in bastok and she just goes off on me about how I suck and she can do a 4k MB "EASY!" and then spam slaps... She holds a grudge for not liking her apparently...



Anyway yea... Rate up!

*raises eyebrow* Evee? "She" (I term that loosly.) was in a few of my linkshells. And has been kicked from every single one of them due to "her" borrowing money from people and not paying back. "She" also owes me 100k.

I forgave you when you apologized to me personally for our little encounter in that same thread. :o

But, why did you like fall off the earth? First post from you in months.

Speedly I just have one favor and that will be all okay?

JUMP

OFF

A

BRIDGE

kthxbai~

Though I am from another server, I'd still would like to comment on this post. I don't know what exactly occurred to warrant this thread being created, but I must say that I like the maturity shown. I have never seen anyone admit to falling into the "big-man" syndrome that is so prevalent in FFXI. Even I have found myself straying towards that, and to see someone admit it and apologize for that behavior is admirable in my eyes.

o.o; what do you plan to do with taru tarus? taru?