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We had a DK tank for us he was fairly well geared.
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We leveled our toons together so I know he knows how to heal.
Problem is simple, one of those two assertions is false. They can not be both true. Either your healer was @#%^ing up (or massively undergeared) or the tank was undergeared, it's as simple as that. As has been pointed out, throw us an armory link so we can have a better look at the DK's gear.
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My mate just came in and I asked him if he found DK's harder you heal in general and he said yes.
Your mate is unexperienced. I've spend a lot of my time healing since WOTLK (since launch, technically, but there were no DK's back then) and I can tell you none of the tank classes is specifically harder to heal than others; it's entirely gear dependant. Our guild's previous MT was a Blood DK and he is probably the easiest target I've ever healed; DK's have a little edge due to their overpowered Frost Presence and cooldowns, which are getting nerfed next patch. Our guild's current MT is a Protection Paladin and he's now pretty much as easy to heal as the DK used to be. We also roll with a Feral Druid off-tank who takes a tiny bit more damage but has slightly more hit points to compensate for it. You might notice slight differences in terms of avoidance, but you cannot really say that one tanking class is 'generally easier/harder to heal'.
Edit: Also, as a little nitpickery;
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He said he was Def capped but...
Def capped does not exist (Or to be more exact, it never happens). You/he meant 'uncrittable'. Just like to get this false wording out of the world.
Edited, Jul 1st 2009 8:25pm by Mozared